colin's News World

HSBC

2006-11-15T12:05:00.000-08:00

HOLY SHIT BAT COLIN

The Vampire Slut

2006-11-13T05:57:00.000-08:00

Explain the bite on the neck mmmmnnnnnn

If that bear is on Viagra

2006-11-11T06:13:00.000-08:00

She will shit herself

mmmmmnnnn Shoot me for fuck sake

2006-11-11T06:11:00.000-08:00

This is what the bastards at T-MOBILE can do with their shit phone

2006-11-11T06:02:00.000-08:00

2 or 3 words an hour is good.

2006-11-11T05:53:00.000-08:00

We are not in a fucking rush.

There is fuck all wrong with tree huggers

2006-11-11T05:32:00.000-08:00

Thats what i call a frog

26 Pints of lager -Tight Leotard- and one fart

2006-11-11T05:24:00.000-08:00

Mummy my nappy burst

Play time

CLOWN SCHOOL BY COLIN

2006-11-08T01:29:00.000-08:00

Works for me

Toooooo much makeup

2006-11-08T01:18:00.000-08:00

So fucking what

Mummy can i have a clown for my birthday

2006-11-08T01:16:00.000-08:00

FUCK OFF YOU ARE 42

And

Could you do that after 14 pints of beer

2006-11-07T00:01:00.000-08:00

Darling i want you to. Darling i want you to take.
Darling i want you our take our sex life more seriously.
He’s behind you. Oh no he isn’t

Oooooh yes he is

Could you compete with the dildo she has in her hand ? mmmmmnnnnn

fucking clown

2006-11-06T04:20:00.000-08:00

see if you think this is funny

blog is blogin good blog

2006-10-25T06:56:00.000-07:00

Lick blog ooh blog

lic

Found a new reason to blog

2006-10-25T06:52:00.000-07:00

blog blog blog

Just because i can

2006-10-23T09:08:00.000-07:00

Specsaver/discount/ porn

Asda or Tesco

2006-10-19T05:55:00.000-07:00

TESCO EVERY FUCKING TIME.

She shops on a wednesday!

Global Warming

2006-10-19T05:47:00.000-07:00

Thousands of Midgets have decided to save Air fuel
in an attempt to help the environment, They will be dragging aircrafts
around airports all around the world.
Its only a short term solution but it’s a start .

NEW CAR PARK FOR BLONDES ONLY

2006-10-19T05:34:00.000-07:00

The fickle finger of fate

2006-10-19T04:02:00.000-07:00

Bush STOP poking in where you are not wanted.
And wash your fucking hands.

The dogs name is osmer-bin-pooing . got it wrong again George

President Bush said Wednesday

2006-10-19T02:19:00.000-07:00

Mansfield pub toilet sign

2006-10-19T02:06:00.000-07:00

President Bush said Wednesday

2006-10-19T01:23:00.000-07:00

WASHINGTON - President Bush said Wednesday the United States would stop North Korea from transferring nuclear weapons to Iran or al-Qaida and that the communist regime would then face "a right good spanking."
The only real threat to the United States would be the United States killing each other in friendly fire.

Bush refused to spell out how the United States would retaliate. Because bush can’t spell.
In light of North Korea's Oct. 9 fireworks display, Bush warned that any transfer of firework displays to elsewhere in the world by the North would be considered a grave threat to the security of the United States. He previously used "grave threat and fireworks displays " in relation to Iraq's Saddam Hussein, Where troops are being killed on a daily basis and friendly fire kills even more.

"If we get false intelligence that they're about to transfer a fireworks, we would stop the transfer, and we would deal with the ships that were taking the — or the airplane that was dealing with taking the material to somebody," the president said. Unable to complete a full sentence due to complete incompetence.

Asked how he would retaliate, Bush would not be specific, "You know, I'd just say it's a grave consequence."

"The leader of North Korea has to understand that he'll be held to account. Just like he's being held to account now for having taking his car test," Bush said.

The United States repeatedly has said it does not intend to attack the North. But the Bush administration also has refused to take any military option completely off the table.

The United Stated has to work out the consequences of ground troops taking on 4 billion well-trained Korean soldiers. Bush is not sure if the UK has that much firepower but stated he is prepared to lend them the money and supply the weapons.

Shifting to Iraq, Bush said intensifying violence now might be compared with the Tet offensive in Vietnam beginning in 1968. The Viet Cong and North Vietnamese armies undertook a series of attacks that shook America's confidence killed shit loads of people for nothing.We still have nutters running around the country with guns.

"There's certainly a stepped up level of violence, and we're heading into an election," Bush said. But he added, "My gut tells me that they have all along been trying to inflict enough damage that we'd leave. And the leaders of al-Qaida have made that very clear."

Bush said al-Qaida was very active in Iraq. "They are dangerous. They are lethal. They are trying to not only kill American troops, but they're trying to foment sectarian violence. Fuck their wining

"They believe that if they can create enough chaos, the American people will grow sick and tired of the Iraqi effort and will cause government to withdraw," he said. Their right

The military said Wednesday that 11000 U.S. troops died in combat amid a security crackdown in Baghdad, putting October on track to be the deadliest month for American forces since the siege of Fallujah nearly two years ago.

What fucking chance have we got against Korea."

The United States will do what it has always done. After a bit we will fuck off and leave the rest of the world to clear up our shit.
"You know, I'd just say there are grave consequence."
The united States will do what it has allways done

Underwight wank machine

2006-10-18T06:39:00.000-07:00

Make me a meal... shocking pictures of the 'walking Wank Machine'
Last updated at 11:43am on 18th October 2006

With her bones protruding visibly under her sexy little swimsuit and skeletal arms and legs, this wannabe model has added fuel to the size zero wanking picture debate.

Marianne, 20, was labeled a "wank skeleton" by passers-by as she paraded on the Millennium Bridge in London yesterday, as part of the Five show Make Me A Supermodel of ill be sick you bastards.

One told the Daily Star: "I couldn't believe it when I saw all her bones sticking out of her. She looked like a prisoner of war from Mansfield. There's no way in the world that she can be a good shag so ill have a Wank instead."

The picture comes with the fashion industry under close scrutiny for its use of size zero models and the pressure it creates on the young to lose fucking weight.

A spokesman for the Five show denied that the producers were encouraging participants to be unhealthily skinny just for a five knuckle shuffle.

He said: "Make Me A Supermodel is all about taking 12 boys and girls of all shapes and sizes and transforming them into potential supermodels. After nine months on a really strong laxative.

"We absolutely do not encourage and have never asked fat bastards to lose weight.

"In our last broadcast we gave advice on nutritional healthy eating and exercise to stay in shape ."

A group of MPs have signed a motion calling for a ban on the use of skinny models on the catwalk. MP from north Nottingham said “ lets not ban them from porn”

Kevin Baron, chairman of the Commons health select committee, said: "The fashion industry needs to have a look at what it is promoting and the effect it has on young women. If you cant have a Wank over her picture Fuck her off the catwalk.

"Anybody in the public eye who is a role model, whether a footballer or a catwalk model needs to make sure they respond positively." And if you believe that you’re a cunt.

figging

2006-09-27T03:58:00.000-07:00

Figging

Figging in action by COLIN

The classic definition of Figging is the sexual act of inserting ginger into the anus via a small hedghog . This is now expanded in modern times to also include insertion into the ladies bits.
Figging prevents the figged from clenching their butt cheeks as this causes a vastly increased burning sensation. Due to this effect it is customary to cane the victim during the figging so you may see their ass cheeks bounce like a 'little rubber ball filled with chilli. It is said that in the Victorian era figging was an accepted means of disciplining children.
(please note) by today’s standards sticking a piece of ginger up a childs arse then whacking the arse with a stick, is not acceptable as a form of punishment.

This has been a major factor in NAMBLA's investment in time travel research, secondary only to the ancient Greek practice of fucking little boys like it was going out of style.

You learn something new every day, don't you?

Fun Facts
_ The scrotum covered ginger that is the end product of figging is the secret ingredient in Fig Newtons biscuits.
It is said that figging was originally used on horses to encourage them to hold their tails high while being shown. Before they used ginger, they used live eels. Just think of eel girl but with horses instead.
Eel girl
The Eel girl is an Asian female who has become infamous on the net due to promotion of viagra.
The premise behind the whole Eel girl meme involves a video of her friend shoving eels into her asshole. She then proceeds to shoot the eels out her ass.